6 Simple Ways for Families to Feel Happy and Connected
It’s all about presence.
While we may be tired at the end of a long day, taking the time to connect with the people who mean the most to us, is so worth doing. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate, time-consuming activity. It could be something as simple as a nightly bedtime story if your children are young or a simple goodnight “check-in” if they’re a little older — a moment to connect after a busy day.
Here are a couple of simple ideas to explore to develop that sense of connection that children so crave — especially in these disconnected times.
1. Dance Like No One Is Watching
My favourite thing to do together as a family is to spend an evening listening to music and dancing. I have this apprehensive feeling that it won’t be long until the boys are self-conscious and less keen on this activity. Teenage years are upon us and I’m starting to think that days of dancing without any inhibitions are numbered. I’d best make the most of them! The teenage years also bring a new element of identity-seeking. The boys are keen to choose music and make a playlist. I like the songs that they share — long may that last!
2. Snuggle up for a Movie Night
Movie night is also a favourite in our home. We tend to watch a certain genre/theme/series for weeks. It’s not only the event itself that is enjoyable but there’s also the discussion and anticipation of the weekend movie that is fun too. We first started doing this when the boys wanted to watch Star Wars. I’d not watched the films before, so I was unsure as to whether they were age-appropriate. We decided to watch them together and I must admit, they were riveting.
Sometimes there are discussions, but most times we just enjoy the movie together. Sometimes I’ll make popcorn. Sometimes, we’ll share a bar of chocolate. When the weather turns chilly, we add a cup of hot chocolate to the mix. It’s one of the best ways to completely relax together.
3. Picnic in Nature
When we lived in London, my husband’s birthday fell during the summer, and we’d always organize a picnic with friends and their families. London parks are awesome to picnic in and offer natural spaces for families to enjoy. These days, we still love to pack a simple picnic and head somewhere beautiful. The boys take along a rugby ball to play with. We pack a few picnic blankets and voila. It makes for a beautiful afternoon in dappled sunshine.
4. Game on!
Now and then, we organize a board game evening. We have a few favorites that offer a challenge that works for everyone. Carcassonne and Catan are both about empire building and require strategic thinking. Century Spice Road makes for an enjoyable evening too. It’s great that children learn about the context — fifteenth-century spice trading — through this game too. If you have a few more players (six is ideal) Chinese Checkers is so much fun and the concentration in the room is intense! When you have only a short moment, you can still play a game — try something like UNO or Dobble for a quick burst of fun and connection.
5. Swim in the Sea and Stare at the Stars
We haven’t been to the seaside together in ages — it’s one for the list this year. When I think back to my childhood, I remember seaside holidays as hours and hours of swimming in the sea and playing in the sand. At night, you’d go to sleep with the shape of the sea and the lull of the waves in your dreams. It’s so simple and so perfect too. In 1986, we stayed awake to watch Halley’s Comet pass by. We all took our duvets onto the front veranda and looked up at the stars. It was magical. Stargazing! That’s another for the list. On a clear night, you could look at the stars from your back garden.
6. Enjoy a Meal Together as Often as Possible
Try to include your children in the meal preparation and try to eat together as often as possible. Working alongside each other and creating something together has so many benefits including feeling part of the team and better understanding the nutritional value of a meal. At the dinner table, many studies have shown there to be numerous benefits for both children and parents. I love that moment to chat and find out about everyone’s day and what they hope for the following day. It’s a moment and then, everyone heads off to busy again!
If you’re in any doubt as to what children would love from you as a parent, here’s a beautiful reminder: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHqfrpVcW4I
We Are All Still So Busy
I had thought that the pandemic would teach us to slow down and appreciate the quieter moments, but as soon as things started to normalize, the busy seemed to go up 100 notches! Perhaps it felt intense because I was not used to socializing as much or perhaps, everyone was making up for lost time and packing in as many events as possible fearing another lockdown or restriction of some kind.
These days, I am more mindful of attending events because I would like to rather than out of a sense of obligation. I think the element of FOMO or fear of missing out has diminished for me. I have a better sense of my priorities and of wanting to spend quality time with my family. I’m able to be a little more honest with myself and others. It’s a lovely thing!
A Backstory…
Over the years, we have tried to simplify our lives. Our London lives pre-children were busy, work-filled, and fast-paced. Once our boys were in the picture, however, we realized that we wanted everything to slow down some!
So, we moved to the French countryside where the pace of life is slower — where shops are closed over lunchtime and families sit down to dinner together. The culture embraces families and life was spent in the slow lane. We shopped at the local farmer’s market for our weekly meals, cooked from scratch, and even planted a vegetable garden. Slow living suited us well and despite the “slow”, the years went by quickly.
